Fractured: how parent–school relationships have changed

Euan
Jun 19
8 min read

Adults and children gather outside a brick school building under a blue sky. One woman holds a coffee. A sign reads "School."

From Plowden’s promise to present day reality

In 1967, the landmark Plowden Report signalled a turning point for parent–school relationships. It dedicated an entire chapter to parent participation and urged that “all schools should have a programme for contact with children’s homes”. Schools were encouraged to meet parents early, hold open days, share information about children’s progress, and generally welcome families into the educational process. This was revolutionary for its time. Before Plowden, the norm was a deferential, almost one-sided dynamic, as one earlier report bluntly put it, teachers dispensed advice to “ignorant but grateful” parents. Plowden’s vision was more optimistic: it painted parents as partners in their child’s learning journey, not passive bystanders.

Yet even as Plowden’s recommendations took root, they fell short of true power-sharing. Schools might invite parents in for fairs and reports, but there was “no suggestion of mutual responsibility” or parental role in school decision-making. The relationship remained largely school-led. The mid-20th century parent was often expected to support the school’s authority unconditionally. Many complied, after all, social norms of the time upheld the teacher’s word as final. But the seeds of change were sown: Plowden and contemporaries had laid the groundwork for a more engaged parent body. The ensuing decades would see the seeds of partnership, communication, and trust both blossom and, at times, wither.

From deference to dissent: shifting dynamics

In the latter half of the 20th century, the parent–school dynamic evolved from polite deference to something much more complex. On one hand, formal avenues for parent voice expanded. The Taylor Report (1977), for instance, recommended that school governing bodies include parent representatives, giving mothers and fathers a say in school governance for the first time. By the 1980s and 90s, education policy further positioned parents as “consumers” of education. National reforms introduced school choice and league tables, implicitly encouraging parents to shop around for the best school. The idea was that empowered, informed parents would demand excellence, and many did. Parents who once might have quietly accepted a school’s decisions increasingly felt entitled to question and advocate.

This shift was amplified by broader cultural currents. Trust in traditional authority figures was declining across society; one observer noted a “loss of confidence in the role of those in authority” by the late 20th century. In education, that meant parents were less inclined to automatically side with the school. Instead, they championed their child’s interests, sometimes assertively. In areas like special educational needs, some families became fierce advocates – even earning labels like “warrior parents” in an Ofsted report – as they fought to secure support for their children.

Not all consequences were negative. Many parents rolled up their sleeves as partners: volunteering in class, running parent–teacher associations, and reinforcing learning at home. Research from the 1970s onward showed parents of all backgrounds were both willing and able to help, if schools took time to guide them. The best schools embraced this, moving towards genuine collaboration. Still, the overall trend was clear: the unquestioning “yes, Miss” deference of the 1950s was fading, replaced by a more vocal, assertive parent voice. By the turn of the millennium, the ideal of “partnership” was widely endorsed in theory (guidelines in the 1990s emphasised shared responsibility, mutual respect, and open dialogue), but in practice, achieving that balance proved challenging.

The digital age: new channels, new challenges

Fast-forward to the 21st century, and technology has utterly transformed how parents and schools interact. Where communication once consisted of termly letters and the odd phone call, today’s parents might receive instant app notifications about homework, follow a school’s social media updates, or message a teacher on email or WhatsApp at 10pm. This digital openness can be a double-edged sword. On the positive side, it’s never been easier for parents to be “in the loop” – to check grades online, read school news, or even attend virtual parent evenings. Especially after the COVID-19 lockdowns, many teachers and parents became adept at collaborating remotely. Online learning platforms and portals have “streamlined communication and increased parental involvement”, allowing parents to monitor progress and contact teachers directly. In some ways, this fulfils Plowden’s 1960s dream of closer home–school contact, via smartphone rather than school gate.

However, the digital era has also heightened tensions. Misunderstandings that once might fade can now escalate quickly through a flurry of emails or group chats. A minor classroom incident can be dissected in a parents’ WhatsApp group and turn into a major complaint by the next morning. School leaders worry about “misinformation or racist and homophobic abuse” spreading in unofficial online parent groups, and teachers sometimes feel under siege from the constant connectivity. Social media, while enabling community, also provides a megaphone for discontent. A frustrated parent can broadcast their grievances widely, occasionally even to the press, before the school has a chance to respond.

Culturally, the parent–teacher boundary has blurred. Many parents who grew up in a more informal, customer-service oriented world apply those expectations to schools. If Amazon can update you on a parcel’s every movement, why shouldn’t a school do the same for your child’s progress? This mindset can leave schools scrambling to meet rising expectations for transparency and responsiveness. One headteacher noted some parents now hold schools responsible even for matters outside school hours. When expectations aren’t met, patience can wear thin. As a result, today’s parent–school exchanges, while more frequent, can sometimes be more transactional, resembling a client-service provider interaction, rather than the united front educators hope for.

Fractured relationships: symptoms and stories

By the mid-2020s, cracks in the parent–school relationship have become an uncomfortable reality in many UK schools. Headlines highlight extreme examples: verbal abuse, threats, even the need for police at the school gates in rare cases. A recent survey found the proportion of school staff reporting verbal abuse from parents jumped from 28% in 2020 to 36% in 2023. Schools North East, a network of schools, describes a post-pandemic “seismic shift in attitudes”, with an “increase in irrational, confrontational, unreasonable behaviour and expectations” from a minority of parents. Two-thirds of schools in one survey said they’ve seen “increased challenges in relationships with parents” compared to a few years ago.

These statistics bear out what many teachers whisper in the staffroom: some parents today are quicker to question and contest. Take school behaviour policies, a crucial area where parental backing is needed. One government study noted that nearly a quarter of staff felt parents did not support their school’s rules, up from 20% the year before. Whether it’s disagreements over uniform, homework, or how to handle bullying incidents, staff increasingly report feeling second-guessed rather than supported. In extreme cases, parents bypass the school entirely, taking complaints straight to Ofsted or the Department for Education without following the school’s procedures. This adversarial turn is deeply worrying for educators. It not only impacts staff morale, but as one charity leader observed, such “aggressive, abusive behaviour…erode[s] the strength of the school” and ultimately “reduce[s] the quality of education for everyone”.

Of course, it must be said that most parents remain cooperative and respectful, with the “small groups” willing to abuse staff are not the norm. And relationship breakdowns are rarely one-sided. Some parents feel let down by schools, especially when support for their child falls short. A Parentkind survey found nearly 40% of parents who avoid school events do so because they feel unwelcome at school. Likewise, parents of children with special needs often report frustration at having to “fight” to get support, hence those “warrior parents” Ofsted referenced. These fractures, then, often arise from pain or disappointment on both sides. A parent’s angry email may mask fear for their child’s wellbeing; a teacher’s curt response may hide exhaustion.

From transactional to transformational: rebuilding trust

The picture may look bleak, but here’s the good news: fractured relationships don’t have to stay that way. The very same era that highlighted divisions has also reinforced a fundamental truth: when parents and schools genuinely team up, children win. Decades of research bear this out. Engaged parents contribute to higher academic achievement, better attendance, and improved behaviour. The UK’s Education Endowment Foundation estimates that effective parental engagement can add +4 months of progress to a child’s learning over a year. In short, a cohesive home–school partnership isn’t a fluffy “nice to have”; it’s a key ingredient in student success.

So how do we move from strain to solidarity? There’s no magic wand, but a starting point is to rekindle trust and communication. As &Parents often reminds educators, strong parent–school relationships are the cornerstone of a thriving school. Building that cornerstone means listening as well as informing. It means finding ways to involve parents beyond the occasional survey or parents’ evening, tapping into what they can contribute rather than focusing on what they “don’t do.” It also requires clear boundaries and mutual respect. Several schools have rediscovered the power of honest conversation: when one headteacher wrote to parents urging civility, the letter was met with an “overwhelmingly positive response” and paved “a new and transparent way of working together”. The truth is, the majority of parents and teachers are on the same side. Both care deeply about the children. Realigning around that shared goal can help to defuse the “us vs. them” mentality before it takes hold.

Modern UK education policy is starting to recognise this. From the 2022 “Parent Pledge”, promising parents better communication if their child falls behind, to the 2022 SEND review emphasising parent voice, there’s growing acknowledgement that parents should be partners. Frameworks in Scotland and England now explicitly ask schools how they engage parents in decision-making. These are encouraging steps, but policies alone won’t mend a frayed relationship; people will. Every phone call home handled with empathy, every parent volunteer welcomed, every concern listened to – these small daily actions rebuild trust brick by brick.

Moving forward: partnership in practice

If you’re a teacher or school leader reading this, the challenge and opportunity is clear. It’s time to reflect on your own context: Are parent–school relationships in your setting a strength or a struggle? What’s one thing that might bridge a divide? Perhaps it’s inviting parents in to see a new phonics approach rather than just sending a policy letter. Maybe it’s checking our assumptions: are we labelling a family “hard-to-reach” without examining if our school is hard to approach? In an age of fractured trust, those on the front line of education can lead by example in mending it.

Ultimately, the story of parent–school relationships since Plowden has been one of ebb and flow. From deference, to empowerment, to occasional dysfunction. But it’s a story still being written. While recent years have strained the home–school bond, they have also spotlighted its importance. We know now, more than ever, that parents are arguably the “best lever we have for school improvement”. The task ahead is to ensure that lever is pulled in the same direction as the school, not against it. By re-centering authentic partnership (built on trust, respect, and shared purpose) we can turn a fractured relationship into a formidable alliance. After all, at the heart of education is a simple truth: when parents and schools unite, children thrive.

Get involved: In your next staff meeting or training day, consider dedicating time to the parent partnership question. Share this newsletter, spark a conversation, and reflect with colleagues on how your school can cultivate the kind of parent relationships that improve outcomes for every child. Every context is different, but by learning from the past and being open to change, we can heal the fractures and forge stronger bonds ahead. The invitation is open: how will you strengthen the parent–school connection in your community?

&Parents

At &Parents, we support schools to move from one-way communication and surface-level engagement to genuine, collaborative partnerships with families. That includes:

reviewing how schools listen to and act on feedback
supporting leadership teams to engage all parents, not just the most vocal
offering training, tools, and advice to build trust and consistency across the school community

We work alongside schools to strengthen what’s already there. When parents feel heard and schools feel supported, better outcomes follow.

Sources: Plowden Report (1967); Taylor Report (1977); DfE surveys 2022–24; Parentkind Survey 2023; Education Endowment Foundation; &Parents research and Euan MacLean’s doctoral insights; Schools Week (1 Dec 2023); The Guardian (26 Apr 2024); &Parents archives.