Parents want partnership, not platitudes, on Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). Drawing on responses from 5,866 parents, this article sets out the strain: one in three has requested assessment; 58% report long waits; 1.6 million children have needs only partly met; lessons disrupted for 2.9 million. It offers practical, low cost changes schools can act on now: clearer behaviour, early classroom adjustments, regular check ins, and action on the income gap.

What if school absence isn’t about defiance, but disconnection? This article challenges the rise in punitive attendance measures and explores how broken trust between families and schools is driving the crisis. With insights from policy, parents and practice, it asks: are we punishing families when we should be listening to them? Read on to understand why connection, not compliance, is key to getting children back into school.

Instead of labelling families as “hard to reach,” schools must examine how their own systems create barriers to engagement. True partnership means shifting from token consultation to shared decision-making and building trust through culturally responsive, reciprocal relationships. The challenge isn’t getting parents to try harder; it’s making schools more reachable.

This article breaks down why parent-school interactions are essential, what gets in the way, and how schools can help to fix it.